The ability to be more mindful and present has always eluded
me quite a bit, until fairly recently, when a conversation I had with someone
led to an interesting revelation. Last week, I had the rather enlightening
realization that how I think about things as well as how I express myself
verbally, can sometimes be a major obstacle to being more mindful or present. My friend pointed out that
my language was terrible, that I was using way too many ‘coulds’ and ‘shoulds’
in my description of how I was doing that week.
This was really enlightening to me, because upon realizing and acknowledging this, it becomes something that I can work
towards changing. I began to understand that the use of these terms in thinking
about or describing what I could have or should have done or said was keeping
me from being fully present. It really
is that simple – using this particular type of language is causing me to dwell in the past and I
can’t remain in the past and be completely present at the same time. In many ways, being present is the antidote to being miserable (and probably many other things) and while this has been said and written about by many over time, it took this recent conversation to drive it home for me.
There seems to be a lot of writing about mindfulness and how to apply it in one’s personal and work lives. They say that doing so will lead to increased happiness and success. I am sure this is true for many, but for me,
what I do know is that becoming more mindful and present in my thoughts and
interactions will most definitely lead me to more of the right situations and
people. In several ways, it already has and the power of it to do so keeps me going back for more. It will also allow me to make the best
decisions for the moment, based on the information I have at hand or can quickly obtain. I’ve decided that second-guessing my
decisions or those of others isn’t always the best approach and to accept that
the decisions were made using the best available information at the time. One disclaimer though – I’m not saying that
every decision can or should be made this way.
There are certainly situations where decisions need to be made taking
into account future and/or past events.
However, for me, I suddenly realized that I was discounting the power of
simply being present in best conducting my life by reliving too many past
decisions and events. Being present also
leads to clearer thinking and that can only lead to better decision-making. Will better decisions lead me to more
happiness and success? Only time will
tell.
